I’m immensely proud of my nearest and dearest. They’re all doing amazingly well; whether that’s with their careers, relationships, families, or because they’re just awesome individuals full stop. So why then are so many of the people I know (including me) so hard on themselves? Yes, okay, we all need to be a little tough on ourselves, otherwise we wouldn’t achieve anything BUT we also need to start recognising how well we’re doing and give ourselves a bloody break once in while!!
In the boxing ring with….me….
I'm quite often guilty of beating myself up if I’m not doing something productive at all times. For instance, I might just be sat watching TV of an evening but I might also be thinking, Lauren, don’t be so lazy, you could totally be multi-tasking right now. By all means watch TV but at the same time you could be doing some yoga, or working on the blog, or doing that life admin you’ve been meaning to do and paying the frigging gas bill!!.....
……In fact, on second thoughts, why are you even watching TV? You should be expanding your mind, reading that new case report for work, or meditating (you keep saying you’re going to try that!), or writing that email you need to send tomorrow. Argh!!! What the hell are you doing with your life?!!...
Okay, so I’m exaggerating ever so slightly but you get the gist.
Back to the grind…
During the summer, things at work usually calm down a little for me. Not only are there generally very few court hearings (if any), people also can't be bothered to fight or face reality. Instead lots of clients just want to run away to a sunny island somewhere, bury their head in a good book, mojito in hand, and forget their brother is suing them for half of their house!!! They want to pretend to be blissfully unaware of all of that and quite frankly who can blame them!
On the contrary and in a shock to my system, this past few weeks have seen the kids going back to school after their summer hols, which means parents going back to work, which means more people being productive, which means more clients and lawyers on the other side being proactive, which all in all means things have totally and utterly stepped up a gear at work!! Argh!!!!
Yep, I’m sad to say that the summer lull is over, the days are becoming shorter (and colder!!), and I'm trying to get myself back into the flow of being super busy. In fact, I always forget how busy it can be after summer. Suddenly so many of the cases I’m working on are heading towards crucial points in time and trials are in the process of being listed. On top of the workload, networking events are also finding their way into my diary, which means that most weeks going forward I’ll probably spend at least one early morning or evening mingling. Yey!....
It’s all falling apart!!….
As a result of this I haven't had time to "better myself" by doing all the things I think I should be doing....meditating, yoga, reading books, learning how to cook, working on the blog....and quite frankly I just haven't had the inclination. After a long day, I've just wanted to sit and do absolutely nothing but stare at a programme that's been designed specifically so that I don't have to engage my brain much whilst gawping at it.
Over the past fortnight, I also haven’t done as much exercise as I would have liked to, sometimes I’ve only had peanut butter on toast for dinner, and on more occasions than I’d like to count I’ve sat and looked at all the dirty dishes in the flat wondering how there are so many...but also not really caring enough or having the energy to wash them. You might also have noticed that I didn't even manage to write a blog post last week!
I’m well aware that in past blog posts I've advocated using any spare time you have to fit in those things that you know you should do but always feel like you don’t have time to do. I’ve encouraged getting up that little bit earlier to workout, or prepping your lunch the night before, or doing some stretching and foam rolling whilst watching your favourite programme. Don’t get me wrong, that advice still stands and most of the time I do follow it. Sometimes though it really does just come down to this……I just can’t be arsed. And that people is okay!!!
If for a few days or a week or two out of your busy lives you just want to work, eat and sleep, and do very little else, that’s absolutely fine! The reason you’re feeling like that is probably because you’re crushing it at work anyway right??!!
If you don’t want to cook dinner one night and all you have the energy to do is use your thumbs to order a takeaway, that’s also fine! If you haven’t got any clean underwear and can’t be bothered to put a wash on and are content with wearing the pair you wore yesterday…okay so that’s probably not fine, maybe go buy some fresh ones on your way to work….
In all seriousness though, if you have an off day or two, don’t feel guilty about it. Just get back on it the next day, or the next week even! Nobody is judging you but you and if you’re not feeling it, you’re just not feeling it.
We are all guilty of punishing ourselves for not being productive and for not trying to better ourselves at all times, particularly now that all we ever see when we pick up our phones and look at social media is people doing just that!
This type of thinking can be pretty all-consuming and unhealthy, which is why it's so important that we don't constantly beat ourselves up about all of this shit! So, this is a message to me and to all of you out there who often experience that guilty feeling….You're doing really great already!! You are allowed a moment to yourself every now and then to sit on your arse in your PJ’s and watch Ru Paul's Drag Race or whatever else you decide to stare aimlessly at!! Enjoy the moment and just get back on it tomorrow, or whenever the hell else you’re ready to get back on it. That’s totally up to you.